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I'm hurting now Lord, and I promise I've been doing my best to not be angry that I can't just stop hurting. I know that you have a reason and a plan for this hurt so I will hurt so that you may have the glory father, because without you I am nothing. I do not even hurt without you, I do not feel, I do not love. I am too weak to bear this alone so take it. Jesus take this hurt and share it with me so that I am not alone.

Withdraw me from this world for a moment I plead to you. Give me your rest for a night Lord so that I do not wake up afraid of being alone. In the night when I wake I do not find her feet there to meet mine and I hate myself. I did not change enough, I did not care enough, I did not comfort enough, I was not enough and I can't stand that feeling anymore.

I mean something to you don't I? I can't be so imperfect to you can I? You will love me and yet I refuse you. I refuse you time and time again because I cannot feel you Lord, I cannot. The things of this world are all I know and I know how much my heart yearns for rest Lord, for a love I can be sure of. You know my ways and all of me inside out so please have mercy on me for coming to you like this with doubt in my heart. Teach me to be free of this anxiety that plagues my heart, father; teach me to know you.